Errant truth and other words- Part 1

I feel an extreme urge to write something, for quite a few days, and u can change those days with ‘centuries’.. as recently I’m finding myself in a fix to measure time. Time has become like a stagnant pool with meteoric changes around it. Is it an oxymoron by the way? Anyway, I’m planning to write this piece impulsively. Now, it’s a difficult thing to do, atleast for me, for words are falling short nowadays. Yes, I’m losing words. They are not making much sense. I have a point here. I think when u don’t have words, don’t use them. Cause, they are costly. Hence one should use it with utmost wisdom. And recently I’ve heard this line of Pinter where he says, “Words are used to keep thoughts at bay.” But still I feel like I’m due of a write up. So my strategy is probably to keep it impulsive, so that whatever contradictory phrases come in my mind, I’ll put it over here through symbols.

So, enough of premises. Let’s get back to work. When you want to write something, or even say something, you need have a story or least, a theme. But I confess over here, I don’t have any stories left to share. Nor do I have a theme to catch your attention, as earlier I’ve said it’s a stagnant pool. Nothing happens, really nothing happens at all. Still, you find that the order of the day is ’CHANGE’. Confusing, isn’t it? No, I’m not trying to synthesize a theme over here. Am simply trying to satisfy my need of writing something. But as Muddy Waters says, “I can’t be satisfied”. So like all my previous unfocused attempts, this too will fail miserably.

People give an impression that I like my Dimma summon negative energy. Point taken. But, here is a reverse theory too. People also give me an impression that they are unnecessary positive too. That means they are trying to subvert truth. But who the hell am I to claim that unlike other mortal souls, I’m the chosen one to carry the banner of naked truth? No, naked is too phony to be used over here. What is truth? Let’s ponder over it for a while. Is it something beyond every single comprehensible word? Or am I trying to project the vague concept of god here (may be, the subconscious have a better understanding of the motive)? Anyway, I think truth is twofold, subjective and objective. When I accuse you subverting my (or should I say, our?) truth, what I’m actually hinting at that, you are mutilating our objective reality. And while doing so, you attempt an overall perversion of my subjective reality. Now it is interesting to note that, I have shifted from the realm of truth to the realm of reality. Are they same? I guess not, but they come close and in occasion they posses contrasting essence. Think of it, you will be able to get what I’m trying to say. As you can see, I don’t want to ruin my thought with inapt words. Reality depends on perspective, truth doesn’t. May be this is a way to demarcate the two apparently same words. But here is a catch. When you give me the ‘excuse’, “Reality depends on perspective”, you are actually alienating an individual from his commune. In fact you are trying to say, “Look, Mister! It’s your mess, you should clean up.” That means your commune’s belief is challenged, hence someone is shown the door. Now see what this someone does. He is an individual first. But he is brought up in a society. Sometimes, he likes it, mostly he doesn’t. But the important factor here is, SOMETIMES he likes it. Now the question revolves around the issue, “Who is going to sacrifice the more, an individual or his commune?” This in turn raises several innumerable questions which will take this write up to a more wayward direction. (to be continued)

They thought they keep me running. But, alas..

i now know it. they came to me always. they screamed and cried. they asked to me to listen to them. not for them. but for me. i had them all. but, i never took heed of their call. that's why, they floated away. and i continued remaining hollow.

When product consumes the consumer..

EA Sports. Challenge Everything. Adidas. Impossible is nothing. Or the adverts in which John Abraham preaches regarding his or the product's attitude towards life - perfection of life. What are they?Are these products trying to teach us lifeskills? And how on earth they had the right to preach these things? Is it that simple? One can understand the very motive of these companies. They only have one sole thing in their mind- make their products sell worthy to the consumers. But while doing so, they are binding one's approach towards life in a single tagline. This is weird. It oozes uncomfort. And it makes me wary to see the 'positive' side of the story.

A person is deprived of realizing his own life within his capability. He has to listen to what a silly face wash has to say about beating challenges. And while doing so, his subconscious is affected by that perpetual engraved catchline. He may wonder, why was he not being able to discover that philosophy? And he has to succumb to that phrase: cause individuality is bound to get compromised. Cause the fight between a MNC and a mind is always one-sided. And the outcome is nothing but inevitable. One's independent self is sold to a consumer product, thanks to these philanthropic self-help ad-campaigns.

Yet she died

Many centuries ago
she died.
she never wanted to leave. yet she died.
she was the best girl. yet she died.
she never made a sound. Yet she died.
she was beautiful. yet she died.
she worshiped her mother. yet she died.
she expended her last sweat for you and for me and for everybody.
yet she died.
she made dazzling robes. she turned the tide.
she loved the orphans. she wrote fairy-tales.
yet she cried.
she sang, she danced, she laughed.
the world needed her.
yet she cried.
she was like a morning sun. like a chanting rain.
she was rabindranath’s urmimala, mangan’s sister.
mclean wrote winterwood for her. spidy’s aunt was this girl.
if forrest was the pea, she was the carrot.
or just the other way around.
quantum electromagnetic theory is meaningless without her.
Before the viking funeral, v slept in her arms.
vincent van gogh was her alias.
she worked as the bartender at the folies-bergere.
her secret admirer made a flute, played for her, before the sleepy blue ocean.

......

but these were many centuries ago.
then why this reminiscence?
cause, she died.

Morning light

Night ends with light;

I feel it in my skin.

The doves make me love.

Sky, mist and freight trains

All are there.

To let me know,

I’m middle of time.

And I figure in this grand show.

I’m alive.

And happy to be so.

‘Feel it.’

Capture this moment

And paint it.

If you can place words

In empty song,

Then do it.

As after night,

Things you get

Is light.

[Image Courtesy: http://www.flickr.com/photos/gregadams/334105862/]

A Montage of Incoherent Thoughts

There was a time when I was young.
Like all of you were.
But I always missed the plot
As I was supposed to miss.
Like all of you missed.
I was different.
And so were the houses and the streets.
No, they were not mystical.
But they fit in the picture.
I was not normal
Unlike you were.
Still I lived
Without realizing this puzzling fact.
Did I appreciate the beauty of this place?
Sad that I don’t recall.
Do I appreciate now?
Well, I don’t know.
Cause things have changed.
My home still stands tall
Asking me to change its fortune.
But I don’t do anything at all.
Time and again I relinquish.
And so it suffers.

I lost my love.
Like all of you had.
But still I fail to apprehend
Which one the fact,
which one the myth?
How does it feel
when you find history pages lost in oblivion?
You can turn time upside down,
But that won’t answer your questions!
Your origin’s lost, forever.
As Gangotri is not the origin of river Ganges,
Unseen stories are all where secret lies.
But the creator forgot to include it in the scripts.
Change.
The sermon of time.
Either take it or leave it.
But week hearts don’t respond well to change.
Their futile search goes on and on and on.
As the sea of people come and pass by.
They are still stuck with their past.
Cause they need answers,
Answers that are buried in past.
But now this world mesmerizes,
With all its vehemence and splendor.
But there is a bottom line.
I’m still missing the plot.

An Orange Flash

One day a young man said, “This tale about everybody having to die doesn’t sit too well with me. I will go in search of the land where one never dies.” – Italo Calvino, ‘The Land Where One Never Dies’, Italian Folk Tale

The story begins in a small bungalow in the town of Oʻahu of Hawaiian Islands way back in the year 1941. The house belongs to Danny Burton who works as a drill commander of the Pacific fleet’s naval force of United States of America. He lives with his five year old daughter Caitlin Burton. Danny’s younger brother Tez also stays with them. Tez is a novice in the naval force. It’s a happy family, but the picture could not get completed due to the absence of one single lady, Caitlin’s mom, Anna……….

[The clock points at 11:33 pm late at night. And the day we’re talking about is 6th December, 1941.]

- Goodnight Caitlin.

- Goodnight Daddy…..Hey Daddy, do you miss mom?

- Yep, now go to sleep.

- Why don’t you wanna talk about mom? I wanna hear about her all the time.

-No, you don’t want to hear about her.

- Yes, I do. Tell me, please! How was she? Was she beautiful?

- Your mother was an angel….

- I want to become an angel too.

- You are an angel, sweet heart!

- Do you feel me-lan-choly?

-Hey, from where did you learn that word?

- What do you think of me? I am in 2nd grade & know a lot more than you and mom can think of….Anyways, where is she?

- I guess, among the stars.

- I don’t like it. We should all stay out here. Together. So that we can see each other. All the time.

- We have talked a lot. Now it’s bedtime.

- NO. I won’t go to bed. I want to talk to you.

- We’ll do that tomorrow morning.

- No, you’re lying. Every day you head for that stupid drr….ri..ll before the sun comes up.

- Let’s say, if something different happen tomorrow, how would that be?! May be a tour to the Sea Life Park, Hawaii….

- Dolphins?!!! Is it so?!

- Yeah. Uncle Tez will take you to the park. As soon as I get over with my drill, I’ll be joining you guys out there. So tomorrow there is no school, only fun.

- Yippee! So then I’ll go to sleep now. Will wait for you tomorrow.

- My good girl. Love ya. (Danny kisses in Caitlin’s forehead.)

- Love you too dad!

And so the light gets switched off in Caitlin’s bedroom. Danny gives a look at his daughter and silently closes the door…..

…………………….

Uncle Tez rushes to Caitlin’s room and wakes her up to tell her that something nasty is happening in the place where her daddy takes part in the drill, The Pearl Harbor.

[The clock points at 7:53 am in the morning. And the day we’re talking about is 7th December, 1941.]

- (Caitlin) What is happening?

- I….I don’t know.

- (Tez) Listen, I’m heading for back up. You stay out here.

- No. I will go with you.

- Look you little toddler, Japanese bombers are trying to wipe out virtually everything that comes across their sight. I need to be out there because your daddy needs me. And I really don’t have time for this twaddle.

- Whatever…..I’ll go. (And Caitlin rides in their Cadillac without Tez Burton’s consent.)

Tez and Caitlin approaches towards the Ford Island. They can see long black smock hovering all around. Tez knows something terrible is happening as there are only flocks of Japanese B5N’s & D3A’s that can be seen as far as sight can go. Where the hell are the American Air Jets?

Oh yes, here they come! But only two! ........ A B5N is hit. It hits the ground just in front of their car. Tez takes out his gun and scampers towards it.

- Get out, you sonovabitch! I’ll kill you, you Japanese bastard!

- (Caitlin) What are you doing? Have you gone mad? He’s burnt!

- (Tez bashes in his face and looks back towards Caitlin.) These guys are killing us and you’re showing pity! Are you crazy?!

- I need to take him into our house. Otherwise you people will kill him. I’ll go home and call Vesper.

So Tez leaves for Pearl Harbor, Caitlin comes back home with her new Japanese Friend without knowing what her daddy is doing out there. Probably today, they won’t be able to go to see Caitlin’s favorite: Dolphins. Vesper, the nurse of the local public hospital, came and did the necessary healing for the Japanese personnel. Caitlin is told that right now he is unconscious. She waits for her Daddy and Uncle Tez, sitting beside this Japanese fellow……

…………………….

After a long time, the Cadillac grudges at their backyard. Caitlin waits for her Daddy’s call: ‘CAITLIN!’. But it doesn’t happen. Uncle Tez shows up. He doesn’t say a word. Caitlin understands that from tonight onwards, one more star can be seen in the night sky. She also hears a groaning, her new friend has woken up.

Later that night Caitlin hears that their President has called for war against the Empire of Japan. Someone tells her that President Roosevelt has described this day as “A date which will live in infamy.” She also comes to know that her Daddy has been awarded by the ‘Commemorative Congressional Medal of Honor’, whatever that means.

The next morning Caitlin along with Tez Burton reaches for the memorial at Pearl Harbor, which is completely obliterated. She looks towards every corner. There are only coffins. But for them, there is no coffin. Her daddy couldn’t be found anywhere after the war.

[The clock points at 12:31 pm. And the day we’re talking about is 8th December, 1941.]

- (An officer calls Caitlin in the podium) Your father was a brave man. One of the bravest pilots I’ve ever seen. He probably sole handedly has saved battleship USS Nevada and many of his fellow countrymen. We’re proud of him…… Do you wanna say something?

- (Caitlin, after being handed the Honor medal) I don’t know what would I do with this! Thank you all.

…………………….

Four years have passed since then. Caitlin’s friend stays with Caitlin & Tez. He is completely cured. But he could not return to his country because of security reasons. So he has taken a different name. Kido is now a fisherman. Caitlin loves him so much. Tez doesn’t talk to him. But Kido doesn’t mind that. Tez’s rage is very much justified. Kido has decided, once he returns home, he’ll give up his job of flying in the Japanese army. But he has a fear, fear of losing her sweet little friend, Caitlin.

In the meantime, Tez has graduated, now he is also a Hawk pilot, like his brother. Right now, a series of American air raid is going on in various cities of Japan. So U.S army needs more and more new recruits. Tez Burton has been called for. So he leaves for the war. Caitlin has to stay alone with that Japanese freak from now on. But he can’t do anything. An order is an order.

Few days after Tez’s departure, news came in that, he along with some other American soldier has been taken captive in some unknown Japanese base. Kido tries hard to come up with the name of the place where Tez has been kept, using his past Japanese contacts. And he succeeds. He and Caitlin set for Japan avoiding endless American vigilance.

The story resumes on a bright, sunny morning in a calm Japanese city. Caitlin and Kido are slowly drifting by a boat which is steered by Caitlin’s friend in the Ota River.

[The clock points at 8:13 am in the morning. And the day we’re talking about is 6th August, 1945.]

- Are you sure, Uncle Tez is out here? It’s so quiet!

- Yes I am. And I’ll make sure he comes out safe from the prison. And after that I’ll take you & Uncle Tez into my home, there you’ll meet with two of your younger brothers.

- Where is your home?

- It’s in Nagasaki. It’s a city, not quiet far away from here.

- I like this place very much. I have a question, why are we fighting?

- I don’t know. May be we hate each other.

- But I don’t hate anyone. My daddy doesn’t hate anyone. You don’t hate anyone. May be Uncle Tez….

- No, no. He too doesn’t hate anyone. It’s just that, he is angry with the Japanese people. It’s no big deal. But wars will happen. As long as there are different countries, it will go on.

- I don’t buy it. We are all the same. Yes, we look different, we eat different. But I think, we all laugh and cry. And we all love our daddy’s and mom’s.

- But how can we stop war?

- It’s simple. It won’t happen if no one goes to war again……Hey, Uncle Kido, what’s that orange flash in the sky?!............ ……….. …………

- This is Chief in command, Headquarter Tokyo. Do you read me? I repeat, do you read me?

- Yes Chief, we haven’t reached the destination.

- Copy that. Waiting for your reply.

- Roger that.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

- This is Flight B39. Do you read me? I repeat, do you read me?

-Yes, B39. We read you. What’s the message?

- Sir, I ….. I don’t believe what I’m seeing…… Sir, I’m afraid to say, Hiroshima is burning…….

before the dream began

As the dawn breaks,
I walk by the fire.
And then I watch you
But I don’t watch you
Then I listen to you
But I don’t listen to you
And I talk to you
But I don’t talk to you
Cause I’ve been in touch
with Mercenaries

They taught me the art
To keep soul
in the hand of Minotaur
They told me this and that
And I told them,
“Who are the real tyrants?”
But I touched the writhed
And I turned my back
The moment clock stuck
I rotted and neglected
And ruined Tír na nÓg.

The ashes are only ashes
They can’t talk
So I rest over by the debris
And feed the rumors
No I don’t humanize you
As I’m tired to listen
to the truncated mourning.

I scratch the wall,
And taste the knife,
Make my jaw sturdy,
Dwell the dystopia,
Watch the balloons
rise up from the manhole,
Weave the dead tune.
Did I see my sleeping face?
Cause, I am here to stay.